


Made of Stardust

by spitecentral



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura (Voltron)-centric, Character Study, Gen, I dunno how to tag this honestly, Introspection, Platonic VLD Month 2017, Post-Series, as in the war is over and I vagued about how it happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-09 03:19:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12267801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spitecentral/pseuds/spitecentral
Summary: Altea was destroyed long ago, and since then, Allura hasn't had a planet to call her home, not even Earth. This doesn't mean that she's homeless.





	Made of Stardust

**Author's Note:**

> Written for platonicvldmonth, day 2: home. This might be kind of OOC? Only in that I'm not sure how much of a wanderer Allura actually is. But this was a pretty interesting idea that I wanted to explore, and also there's not enough Allura-centric fics on this site, so there. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm more than open for contructive criticism, and I hope that you enjoy!

The longer she stayed on Earth, the more Allura felt drawn to the stars.

There was so much to do during the day - she needed to establish friendly diplomatic relationships with the leaders of all countries, she needed to appear in public to reassure the people that she was friendly and not out for their brains, she needed to maintain relationships with her paladins, she needed to learn enough about Earth culture to blend in, and that was just in the morning. Allura was used to being under pressure, but she could still scarcely believe that she felt busier now than she had when she had been fighting Zarkon’s empire.

But at night, things calmed down. After eating dinner, after doing the dishes, after socializing in the evening in front of the TV, the house went to bed. Colleen and Sam went to their shared bedroom, Matt and Pidge went to the bedroom they temporarily shared, and Coran and Allura shared what used to be Pidge’s room.

Allura always told Coran that she was coming, but never came. He had to notice that. But perhaps he felt like she needed some time alone, after being around people all day.

At night, Allura climbed onto the roof. It was flat, presumably because this was a family of astronomers, and Allura highly suspected that she wasn’t the first to stargaze instead of sleep.

She stared at the stars all night. You’d think that fighting a battle amongst them would leave her hating them, or at the very least, you’d think that spending a life with them surrounding her would have waned away all novelty they might’ve had.

But seeing them from Earth was different. Earthlings, like many other races along the universe, had a fascinating culture surrounding the stars. Constellations had meanings here, and Allura loved to search for new patterns in the stars. She loved searching for a falling one, she loved to look at the different colors they had. Seeing the stars from Earth’s perspective was different, almost magical.

But if she was completely honest, that wasn’t the reason she loved to come out here to watch, and it wasn’t the reason that she could only manage to fall asleep on this roof, and not in her bed.

She couldn’t pinpoint why that was, exactly. She just knew that breathing took more energy than it had even when the oxygen levels were low in a spaceship, and the food tasted blander than even the goo in the castle. She just knew that her steps on Earth felt stolen, like she’d never gotten permission to be here. She knew she didn’t need permission - she was a princess. But still, she felt bad sleeping in Pidge’s bed, when Pidge was sleeping on a mattress in Matt’s room.

She’d offered to stay in the castle, but the paladins had vetoed that. She understood, though she wasn’t happy about it. Coran could easily oversee the reparations on an empty castle, even with Earth’s inexperienced workers, but managing to direct constructions to a completely destroyed castle while people were still living in it? That would be much harder.

It didn’t make her any happier to steal the house (or planet) of these people away, though. She knew it wasn’t like that, technically, but it still felt like it..

Perhaps, she thought, the feeling would go away in time.

But for now, she slept under the stars.

///

As she grew more accustomed to Earth, and Earth grew more accustomed to her, things began to change.

Allura was still met with gaping mouths and clicking cellphones when she went into a store, but now, it was less the surprise of seeing an alien, and more the surprise of seeing a celebrity. At the negotiation table, she stopped meeting hostile faces, and instead found people willing to work with her. Now, if she didn’t understand something, strangers were willing to help, instead of just watching her with hidden fear in their eyes.

Allura stopped feeling like she was stealing every step she took on this ground. She started laughing with the Holts, bonding with Colleen, returned to joking with Pidge. It felt good, sitting in on their dinner table, laughing with them. Almost like a family.

But still, she couldn’t sleep in her bed. Still, her breaths felt heavier than they should be, the food still tasted bland, and her steps, though not stolen, still felt tiring. Still, she returned every night, to gaze at the stars.

She wondered why.

///

Their castle was almost finished, and Coran didn’t want it to be.

Allura could see it. Coran didn’t talk about it, of course, preferring to mask his feeling with his exuberant personality. He talked excitedly about the reparations, announced proudly that they’d be finished by next week. It wasn’t a façade, exactly – the pride of fixing the ship in a record time was clearly genuine.

But when he thought no-one was looking, he looked around himself, a bit lost, like he didn’t know where to go from here. It was such an uncharacteristic look on him, that Allura found herself worrying.

She cornered him in their room that night.

“Coran, what is it?” she softly asked. Coran looked at her for a couple of ticks, then sighed.

“Should’ve known you would see it,” he said, smiling a melancholic yet proud smile. “I never could keep anything from you, even as a little kid.”

He sat down on his mattress, and scratched the back of his neck. “It’s just,” he gestured around the room, “what are we going back for?”

Allura raised an eyebrow. “We need to let the planets in the former empire know how Voltron succeeded, we need to re-establish healthy peace treaties all throughout the universe to stop another war from spreading, and if needed, we should attack lingering Galra soldiers.”

“I know that, princess, but what else?”

Allura blinked. “What else?”

“Altea was destroyed. We have nothing among the stars now. After our duties to the universe are finished, what will we do?”

For the first in a long time, Allura felt speechless. She had known she was homeless, but after the initial shock, after the grieving process had lost its momentum, she hadn’t really thought about it. She had never felt aimless, or wandering, like she was searching for a place to stay.

But she had felt like that, recently, since they’d landed on Earth. She hadn’t fully realized it before, but that was that uneasy feeling in her stomach. Restlessness. Homesickness.

Maybe Coran had a point. Her goal had largely been reached, and once there was no more work for her, no necessity to be among the stars, where would she be? Where would they be?

She looked at Coran, and saw that he was staring at a bobblehead of some comic book figure. He hit its head, watched it bop, and sighed.

“Princess, I love this planet,” Coran admitted, gesturing at the bobblehead. “I love the culture, I love the comics, I love the food, and I’m even fascinated by the technology, primitive as it may be. This planet - this house - it feels closer to home than even the Castle, closer than I’ve felt since Altea was destroyed.”

Allura’s mouth felt dry. “What are you saying, Coran?”

His eyes softened. “I love you, princess, and I don’t want to leave your side. But after all of this is over, I wish to return to this planet, to live out the rest of my life here. And I know that you do not.”

Those words were like a punch to Allura’s stomach. She shook her head, trying to shake out the nest of scared thoughts that had begun to build. “Let’s not worry about it too much,” she said, hoping that she sounded more carefree than she suspected she did. “It’s going to be quite a few dobashes before we’re finished with even the most basic of our tasks. Let’s think about this later.”

Coran looked at her for a few seconds, then nodded. As she was about to turn away, he caught her in a hug.

Allura leaned into him, clutching him tightly. It was quite some time before they let go.

That night, Allura tried to sleep in her room. She ducked into her pillow, pulled the covers over her, and twisted and turned until deep in the night.

No matter what, she felt the pull of the stars.

///

The next day, the paladins and their families arrived in town, and everything got even busier, but in a good way.

They were coming back with her, to assist defeating any lingering Galra troops, and as a sign that Voltron cared for the universe. They came a week earlier, to reconnect with their lions, and to just ease themselves into their new adventure.

They were leaving their families behind, after having been returned to them for only a few months, and this was difficult for them. That was abundantly clear in the way Hunk clung to his younger brother, in the way Lance paused before switching to English from Spanish, in the way Pidge spent days shopping with her mother instead of working on a new project by herself. Keith was the only one whose family wasn’t staying in a hotel, mostly because he didn’t have one, and he was also the only one who seemed to have no difficulty leaving Earth behind.

Shiro came with his grandfather. He had never known his father, his mother had passed of cancer shortly before he’d left for Kerberos, and his grandmother had passed of old age while he was captured by the Galra. His grandfather was the only family he had left, and that only made them closer.

The old man looked at her, back straight, cane placed under his hands like a scepter. He couldn’t speak English, at least not well, and Shiro had to translate for him, but that didn’t stop the old man from looking like he owned the room and everyone in it. Allura liked him.

Allura had never seen Shiro like this before. His shoulders were relaxed, a smile seemed only seconds away from playing on his lips, his eyes were soft. And all of that seemed to be directly tied to his grandfather, the way they laughed at some joke in Japanese, how he handed him his cane before he stood up, how his grandfather put a hand on his shoulder whenever he seemed to be sliding far away. It was almost magical, seeing Shiro this comfortable and happy.

It wasn’t a surprise when he pulled her aside, three days before the launch.

“Princess -” he started, but Allura held up her hand to stop him.

“You want to stay.”

She said it like a statement, not a question. Shiro looked taken aback, but recovered. Slowly, he nodded.

“It’s just - I just -”

He couldn’t find the words, so Allura filled them in.

“You have a trauma associated with space. You were forcibly ripped from your planet and your family, and taken captive by the Galra. It took you ages to get back. You are scared that you’re not going to succeed a second time.”

Shiro let out a deep breath. “It sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud,” he admitted.

“It’s not,” Allura lay a hand on his good arm. They had removed the Galra prosthetic as soon as their final battle was over. They’d been planning on fitting him with a new one with technology on the castle ship, but Shiro hadn’t been particularly hasty, claiming that it was rather nice not to have a heavy piece of metal drag him down on one side of his body.

If he didn’t want to pilot his lion again, the replacement might never happen, Allura realized. But if Shiro wasn’t bothered by that, than neither was she.

“It’s not ridiculous at all,” she continued. “You have suffered grave trauma, and recovery is going to take time. You need to do so. I do not expect that we’ll be needing Voltron much, but the few times we do, we can pilot the lions as we did when you were lost. You can stay, if you wish.”

Shiro sagged forward, relief spreading over his face. Allura squeezed his arm reassuringly, before letting go.

“Maybe I’ll come later,” Shiro said.

“Maybe,” Allura agreed, though they both knew that it was unlikely.

The launch was three days later, and a crowd had gathered to see them off. Allura watched all paladins but Keith say goodbye to their families, and watched Shiro say farewell to the Black Lion. She could almost hear her purr, and Allura knew she’d understand.

Coran was saying goodbye to the Holts. Allura had already said her word, and was waiting on the bridge for everyone to finish, watching the crowds wave, and waving back.

Keith said goodbye to his friends’ families, whom Allura suspected had become his as well, and spoke softly with Shiro, hugging him as if he was never letting go. But he was still the first to stand next to her, ready for take-off.

Finally, when everyone stood on the bridge, she activated the ship. She felt a familiar buzz underneath her hands, and a well-known light welcomed her as she booted up the systems.

When they reached the stars, Allura breathed a sigh of relief, though she didn’t know why.

///

Pidge was the second one to leave them, which was a bit of a surprise, but in hindsight, it shouldn’t have been. Pidge was bad at negotiations, desperately wanted to be with her family, and after they were certain that Voltron wouldn’t be needed anymore, she left.

They’d been visiting Earth regularly, both to keep up relationships and to let the paladins visit their families. She saw how they counted down the days until their ship touched Earth again, and though they did have fun in space, they were never as happy here as they were on Earth.

Even Coran grew restless in the quintents before a visit. He’d pace around the ship, finding things that didn’t need fixing to fix. When they finally landed, Allura saw his relief, and in the few days that they stayed on the ground, she could see him flourish. She didn’t like to think about it.

Shiro was the first one waiting for them on every visit. He came with his grandfather the first three times, but during the fourth, he came alone. Nothing to worry about, he reassured them. His grandfather just didn’t feel like coming. Allura was happy that he felt comfortable enough to let him out of his sight.

It was during the fourth time that Pidge announced wanting to leave.

“We’ve defeated all major resistances from the Galra,” she said, pushing up her glasses, not looking at any of them. “You can handle the rest with just the lions, and I’m no good at being a diplomat, so I thought that maybe I could leave? Be with my family. I’ve wanted to do that for so long, it’s why I went to space in the first place, and… yeah.”

She was nervous, uncharacteristically so. Before the group could break up into an uproar, Allura stood straight, radiating authority.

“Of course you can,” she said, with a reassuring smile. Pidge looked up, surprised.

“I thought that you -”

“I’m fine with it, Pidge. You’re absolutely right. We’ll be needing the lions, but Voltron might be a tad much for the minor rebellions left. If you do not wish to stay, I won’t force you. Go. Be with your family.”

After that, there was an uproar, but everyone understood. They wanted it too. But they also understood that they would still be needing the lions, and that it was safer for the rest of them to stay on board. So the when they left Earth, only Pidge was left behind.

///

Allura felt uneasy as she saw Hunk in the kitchen even more than usual, knowing he baked when stressed. They were approaching Earth again, and Allura had a feeling that she knew who would be the next to leave.

She was right.

Hunk baked goodbye cookies for all of them. His brother was getting married, and he wanted to be there, but they’d be leaving before the wedding.

“I barely even know his husband,” Hunk explained. “I want to get to know him better, and I don’t want to leave before I make sure that he’s good to my bro.”

They all knew that this was an excuse. They knew that Hunk wouldn’t come with them when they landed on Earth after the wedding. But they let him have this. Allura could see how tired he was, how much he just wanted to stay home, where he felt safe. She couldn’t take that from him, especially now that there wasn’t any reason for him to stay with them. So she told him yes.

///

Lance left soon after Hunk, and Allura was just surprised that he lasted this long. She assumed that was because he was the second best diplomat on the team, and therefore the most useful in this post-war battlefield. Allura knew that Lance liked to feel needed.

But she also knew that he did not love it more than he loved his family.

He did not give a reason. He just told her.

“I want to stay on Earth,” he said, looking only slightly guilty. “I want to be with my family. I want to go home.”

She couldn’t deny him, and didn’t want to, either. It hurt to see him leave, but she understood, and she legitimately hoped that he’d be happy on Earth.

Now, she had only Keith left. And Coran. Coran was still with her.

She wished that she could still add an ‘of course’ to that.

///

But even still, as her family thinned and thinned, she could not help but long to be in the sky again.

Every time they left Earth, even if they left someone behind, she breathed a sigh of relief. At first, she thought she had something against the planet itself, but she slowly realized that it had nothing to do with Earth. It was her.

Whenever they landed on a planet, no matter which it was, she felt restless. She felt an unexplained heaviness on her chest, she walked with unneeded caution, and the food, no matter how delicious, seemed lacking somehow. She could only look up at the sky, and continued looking until it became night, waiting for the stars to show. And when they did, she couldn’t stop staring at them.

In her ship, travelling between planets, she did not have that feeling.

Despite the fact that there was, technically, a limited oxygen supply, she felt like she could breathe freely. She maneuvered the halls easily, piloted effortlessly, and even bland food goo didn’t taste that bad when they finally launched from a planet. She could sleep in her own bed, instead of looking at the stars.

And she realized that was because the stars were around her. She wanted to be among them, and never wanted to leave.

Coran did not have that feeling, she knew. In time, Earth had become his home almost as much as Altea had been.

He was the last to leave.

///

They hugged until they thought they would never let go, and they cried. Coran was like a father to her, and she was like daughter to him, and it hurt to let each other go.

But Allura was grown. She didn’t need his guidance anymore. And she couldn’t make herself believe that she’d be happy here, nailed to the ground, just like she couldn’t make herself believe that Coran could be happy in the sky. He wasn’t made for travelling the stars. He needed a home to return to.

And, as Allura was steadily realizing, the stars were her home. And she longed to return to them.

“Your father would be proud,” he whispered as he finally let her go.

“I’ll miss you,” she choked through her tears.

“I’ll miss you too,” he said, pulling her in for one last hug.

That was the only time she stared at Earth when they left.

///

Keith was still here.

Allura was a little surprised about that. She’d figured that he’d be the last of the paladins to leave, with no blood family to return to. But she knew that his team had become just as dear to him as his father had once been, and she had expected him to leave with Lance.

But he was still there, even as Coran had left her. He was still there, even though they didn’t need even a single lion anymore, and he was no help with diplomatic adventures.

He was still there, and never said anything about leaving, playing with the mice instead. Allura watched him from the corner of her eye, closer than she had ever before, and suddenly noticed things.

He breathed heavier when they landed on a planet. His steps went weird. He complained about the food. He never stopped staring at the sky. And when they left to return to space, she saw his shoulders sag in relief.

They made up games to play, they handled the maintenance of the ship, they plotted new courses to travel, and as the time they spent together grew longer and longer, Allura realized that they didn’t even need to do that. They were comfortable just being, travelling among the stars.

“Don’t you want to go home?” she asked, as they left earth once again. He was broader now, more muscular, and he had stubble on his chin. Lance had a kid, and Keith’d loved to play with her. He’d listened as Pidge told him about her clean energy program, joked with Hunk about his nephew, and had gotten beaten by Coran at Monopoly. He’d given Shiro the same heartfelt hug he had for the past fifteen years, every time they left.

But he kept leaving, anyway.

Keith shrugged. “I’m going home right now.”

They launched themselves into the stars, and their shoulders relaxed in tandem.

Allura smiled at him, before steering the castle away from the moon’s gravity.

“Where to?” Keith asked.

“Well, we have no pressing matters at the moment, so perhaps the Balmera? I’d love to see Shay again.”

“Lead the way, princess.”

He smiled at her, but the smile for her paled in comparison to the grin he gave the stars beyond the window.

It occurred to her that she wasn’t the only wanderer at home in space.

///

Allura had been a princess of Altea, and she still carried that title proudly. But her planet was lost, and it had given the void in return. She had no ground to call her home.

She was a princess among the stars, and she wanted it no other way.


End file.
